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Today, we accomplished what most of the world thought impossible: we actually cleaned Irvin’s apartment. No one thought we could do it. And no one thought we would be ambitious enough to try. But try we did, and what’s more, we succeeded!

In order for you to understand the Herculean task that faced us at 2pm, let us explain the mess that we were sorting. Above Irvin’s computer desk is an expansive shelf, filled with every single paper and post-it and magazine from the last six or seven years. And once you get to know Irvin, you will realize that this is a LOT of paper.

Moreso, we also tackled the mess surrounded what was once an orderly DVD collection…orderly in the first few months of its existence in 2005. We not only compiled a list of all 117 DVD titles, we organized them, swept out the dust, went through each and every paper above the computer desk, and organized them into neat folders. And we even had time for strip card games in the middle.

During our mining of post-its, we came across some notes we made regarding chinchillas and Pluto and all kinds of bizarre things. Many of those things will find their way onto this blog. But for now, since there are still a few things to put away and it’s 2am, let us merely define the word “twinkle” for you.

“Twinkle” is generally accepted as a verb, and it is something that stars are often known to do. But what exactly is twinkling? We believe that it is a composite word, a combination of the following two words.

Tinkle (verb) – to pee

Winkle (verb) – to wink in a sultry manner

By combining the two, we get the following definition:

Twinkle (verb) – to pee while winking in a sultry manner

Evidently, this is something all stars do quite a lot. We’re not precisely sure why, but they do.

Remember, insanity isn’t contagious…we think.

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