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Pluto Is a Planet!!!

A couple years ago, something came up that enraged Irvin and Tasha to a ridiculous extent. Some snobs at the International Astronomical Union decided all of a sudden that Pluto was not a planet any longer.


Why the hell would someone do that to Pluto? It’s like adopting a child into your family, and then kicking them out seventy years later shouting, “You’re not really one of us!” Pluto may be small, but as we screeched incessantly, it has feelings, too!

Honestly, if the stupid IAU was so concerned about Eris, why not just add a tenth planet? I’m pretty sure there is room in our heads to memorize a tenth planet name after the first nine. We could even extend the acronym: My Very Excellent Mother Just Gave Us Nine Poached Eggs. Instead, now our mothers just give us nine…nine what? Not pickles! Not pizzas! Just nine! We will never know what our mothers gave us!!!

Also, the IAU attempted to appease the Pluto fans by calling it a “dwarf planet.” Well, if we extend the definition of dwarf stars and dwarf galaxies to planets, then Pluto is still a planet! Just a small one! It’s not all about size, for goodness sake! Just ask Tasha – she’s not as superficial as those IAU assholes.

So you know what? Fuck you, astronomers! Pluto is still a planet! It always will be, for those of us who were born with nine planets in the sky. We should be considerate of poor Pluto’s feelings. So let us just say now, that Pluto, you are still a superb planet…you’re even our favorite planet! So there!

Remember, insanity isn’t contagious…we think. But this post was mostly sane, anyway.

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