Pink Chinchilla Insanity

After a while, Tasha and Irvin came to the realization that they needed to mass produce hot pink chinchillas…do not ask why, dear reader, for the answer is rather long and convoluted (and insane). The point is that dipping individual chinchillas in red Koolaid simply would not suffice any longer.

So then came the question…how to mass produce hot pink chinchillas? As far as Tasha and Irvin knew, they were not born naturally from other chinchillas. But after a lot of investigation, they came up with two creatures whom they could breed to produce the desired result.

The first parent would be the one readily available: Natasha’s adorable and slightly evil/deranged cat Sassy. Sassy is quite a character, and will be discussed at length in some other blog post. But Sassy is already a ball of white fur (when Natasha’s clan doesn’t shave her, that is). So if we dyed Sassy hot pink, we would be halfway to a hot pink chinchilla.

But we then needed a partner for Sassy who would ensure her offspring could bounce high up and down…because if a hot pink ball of fluff bounced up and down, it would be a chinchilla! After a lot of deliberation, Tasha and Irvin decided that the best bouncing would be achieved by breeding Sassy with a Jack-in-the-Box.

And there you have it: we now had a plan to breed hot pink chinchillas by mating Sassy with a Jack-in-the-Box. It was pure genius!!!

Remember, insanity isn’t contagious…we think.

One day, Tasha came to school, talking to a friend about a video she saw of an adorable chinchilla. She wanted one.

Her friend got incredibly excited and said, “I have a story for you!” Tasha looked at her with interest and invited her to continue.

“One day, my cousin decides to throw his chinchilla a birthday party – the adorable little fluff ball was turning one year old! All was going well, and everyone was having a grand old time. The birthday chinchilla was let out of its cage so it could wander and mingle with its guests.

“At some point during this mingling, some awful person stepped on the chinchilla, and squished it…to death!!!”

At first, Tasha was horrified – how could such a catastrophic thing occur?!? But then she called Irvin, and related the tragic tale to him. They then started brainstorming…if they got a chinchilla, how would they keep it safe from evil party-goers?

And then, they had an epiphany! Sure, some reckless people might step on a regular chinchilla, but NO ONE would step on a hot pink chinchilla!!! After all, who could just ignore a bouncing ball of hot pink fluff? Our chinchilla would be seen by everyone, and its safety thus ensured!

After some painstaking research, they discovered that hot pink chinchillas were very hard to come by. So they came up with a genius solution to that dilemma as well: they would get an ordinary run-of-the-mill white chinchilla, and would dye it hot pink by dipping it in red Koolaid. It would be a delicious experience for the chinchilla (so don’t call PETA!), a hilarious experience for everyone else, and best of all no one would stop on the chinchilla ever again!

And that is the origin story of our fascination with hot pink chinchillas.

Remember, insanity isn’t contagious…we think.